Monday, February 13, 2017

Counting Coup

Counting Coup


“Counting Coup”: a story from the collection, Red Iris


By Joe Petrulionis


All rights to these materials are reserved by the author.


hornetfeather.JPG
Some kind of an old and nearly worn out feather, used to mark a place in a book, found on the shelf of a cabin near Irvingsberg, Pennsylvania. The book’s owner claimed he found the feather at the grave-site of his own daughter.


“When Pap Gannister said, ‘I know for a fact, young feller, that…’ what he meant was that he’d already become aware of the thing in itself, that sure ‘nuf objective reality behind the referents of language, perspective, sensation, interpretation, and all of the other potential distortions of memory. Knowing for a fact meant more than just knowing. No contradictory information that he ever encountered in his great hereafter could be afforded any consideration at all, because by being in opposition to that solitary fact he already knew the contradictory information had already been proven unreliable.”   Jonathan Fost recalled  this with a facial expression he might have used during a history lecture. I smiled because his manner of speaking seemed out of place with the rest of the picture there in front of me.
It was a hot August day out at Simon’s Blue Hole. Jonathan sat in two feet of water, a still smoking pipe on a rock behind him and a brown bottle of beer in his hand. The rest of the six pack chilled just inside the mouth of a small cave at  the edge of the lake. Cool air blew out of the cave and I sat in that breeze, just beginning to take notes.
Fost leaned back into the rock, the water at mid chest now, and said, “That, Beth, is one more for your collection of Theories of Knowledge. You do still collect them?”
“Theories? Seems, these days, all I ever collect are enticing little parts of stories, fits and starts really. But what choice do I have?”
“Well, you could go back to teaching Symbolic Logic to undergrad business majors.”
“Now that would be a productive use of time, wouldn’t it?” I was still smiling. “Speaking of productivity, you know I only have one weekend, this week. That’s the rest of today and tomorrow morning. I was kind of hoping you might fill me in on those Indians you promised to tell me about.”
“That’s exactly what I am trying to do.”
“Okay, sounded to me like you were talking about Pap Gannister.”
Jonathan Fost tossed an empty bottle into the sand behind him. Then he rolled over into the water, covering his head while holding up his canvas hat so the attached fishing license would stay dry. For a few seconds he remained down there, blowing bubbles. When he emerged, there erupted some rather vigorous head shaking and water spitting. Finally, he replaced his hat, picked up his pipe and leaned himself all the way back into the rock. The problem of the pipe, it being no longer lit, of course, it never was, necessitated his next moves. He stood again to find the lighter he had been unable to locate only through feel. I recognized this nicotine related delaying tactic. He wouldn’t be able to continue until the pipe smoke poured forth. “So you were saying about Indian Town,” I suggested.
Didn’t take the bait. “Nope, Lakota, not Conestoga. Indian Town was mostly Conestoga, Shawnee, and Lenape.”  I heard the series of clicks, the sizzle, the lighter being replaced on the rock. Then he sat back down, puffed a few mouthfuls and said, “Pap’s people were Hunkpapa.”
“Sorry, what was that?”
“Hunkpapa. It was one group of the Lakota people. They had been living up in North Dakota. But they had some problems with their neighbors back in the 1860’s and the US Government had to get involved. Seems these neighbors, good friends of the Railroad Industrial Complex, objected to having their horses stolen. This gave the US Cavalry it’s excuse to intervene.”
“Hunkpapa. I have never heard…”
“Of course you’ve heard of them. You just forgot. Let me remind you.”
“Wait. Does this connect to your Lakota Indians story, those lost kids?”
“See, you’ve heard of them. And no. Just one of the kids was Hunkpapa.”
“Which kid?”
“Bethany Mikhailovich Bakhtin, I do realize that the dialog is an ancient and honored literary form, winding its long way down to us from at least the Sophists. But really, since Nietzsche anyway, have there been many successful attempts to relay a plot driven story through the Socratic Method? How ‘bout I just tell you. There will be a question and answer opportunity at the end. Okay?”  
“You got it. Okay, the Hunkpapa.”
I sat back, determined to take down the verbatim rendering of what he said. This is what my notes tell me Jonathan Fost finally told me that day:
“My wife’s Grandfather, Henry Gannister, got this story directly from his mother. I had to do some digging. But Gretchen’s Great Grandmother may have been a young eyewitness to the whole thing. Probably still just a toddler. When something like this happens to your family, you learn about it first hand.”
“Tess, that’s Great Grandma Gannister, the girl who married Simon Gannister, the poor thing, told this to her sons. They told everyone in their family, in turn, but no one understood much of it. Then I came along and dug out some of the context. But by the time I had connected the dots there was no family left to tell. I think that’s when what they call genealogy becomes what they call history, isn’t it; when there’s no more family left to tell?”
“But Pap Gannister, that’s Tess’s youngest son, Henry, told anyone who would listen the stories he had heard. But he says Tess spoke mostly the Sioux language. From what I gather, if that is true, then the Sioux language is made up of watching, listening, and waiting; because most of the very few people who ever encountered Tess said she never spoke at all. Still, she could communicate with four others here in Lorraine Township. And her husband was never one of those four. But sometime during Pap’s childhood, his Mother let slip that that she was from Canada. They were all living in the Northwest Territories, up there, still living in teepees and hunting bison. They weren’t exactly refugees, more like hiding out for a while. But Tess’s first memories are all about snow. After that, her earliest memory was the hornets. Bald faced hornets. Said she had gotten dozens of stings all over her body.
Tess’s family was quite a puzzle. She told the boys that she was the daughter of a mighty elder, a mystic by profession, a leader of a small band of Hunkpapa. He was named something like “Takes It Slow and Easy,”  or in their language, Hunkesnee.  Tess’es mother, a prize catch and Hunkesnee’s  third or fourth wife, was probably not Hunkpapa but Cheyenne. Tess still called them “Nota-me-oh-mese-hese.” That’s why Tess ended up here in Irvingsberg.”
I had to interrupt for an explanation.
“Yeah, the Northern Eaters lived over in the Pine Creek Reservation at the time. But the Hunkpapa had to live at Fort Yates, a military outpost on Standing Rock, almost a prison for them. The last thing she remembered her mother saying to her was that when she gets back from school Tess should return to Pine Creek Reservation to live with the Cheyenne, her mother, ‘Many Horses’ would be living over there at Pine Creek by then, ‘so don’t come back here to Standing Rock.’ And that’s what Tess thought she was doing.”
I had to interrupt again. “Jonathan you are confusing me. Can you please just start at the beginning. Are we in Canada or North Dakota or Irvingsberg? Tess’s parents lived at Standing Rock, right?”
“That’s the ending. You want me to start at the beginning or the ending?”
“Jonathan, don’t do this.” I pleaded. “We don’t have the time. Could you please start with Tess in Canada and tell me how she got all the way down here in Pennsylvania?”
“That is precisely what I was trying to do.  Write this down, please.”
--------------------------------------
Hunkesnee had other wives; and all had brought him children. There were even four grandchildren. Now, here in the windswept yards of Fort Yates, an island in the Missouri River, eight teepees comprised his own part of the encampment.  His teepee, the one decorated with symbols indicating the names of his children and grandchildren, stood in the very center. Seven others formed a partial circle around Hunkesnee, each about ten long strides from the center tent. Four of these other teepees were for wives, where they each lived with their children and unmarried daughters. In one of these, Ptesan-Wi lived with her mother, Many Horses, while they all still lived at Standing Rock Reservation. Ptesan-Wi’s older brother, Courting a Woman, had just moved into the son’s tent. He was ten.
The son’s tent, one of the teepees on the end of the old man’s crescent, the one most visible from the door of Hunkesnee’s was jammed full of boys, ranging in age from about nine to around sixteen.  Especially here in Standing Rock, these youngsters needed careful oversight. The U.S. soldiers here carried loaded rifles and they still considered Hunkesnee and his band to be prisoners of war, despite the terms of the agreement made at the time of their arrival at Fort Burford. As far as Hunkesnee could tell, the soldiers could not or would not distinguish between a thirteen year old boy counting coup from a coordinated act of war. So these were dangerous times to be a teenage Hunkpapa.
Married daughters lived with their husbands in two other teepees, but their traditions had it that they would always form a part of the old man’s constellation. These daughters’ husbands provided much of the leadership for the teenage sons in the front tent. Only Hunkesnee’s wives, his married daughters, and their husbands could enter the old man’s tent without specific invitation. But, still, Hunkesnee doted on his kids. Since he spent much of his time sitting in front of his teepee, Hunkesnee could be approached by any of the children at most any time. Such was family life of the Hunkpapa.
The camp had been arranged so that almost all of the teepee door flaps faced west, centered on that spot where the sun disappeared after the longest day of the year. But the teepee on the westernmost end of the crescent, the place where the unmarried sons all lived, had been situated with its flap faced back toward Hunkesnee. Most of the other tents in the circle could observe the comings and goings of the sons’ teepee and the mothers and sons-in-law could never quite tell if Hunkesnee was a part of the mischief or not. He was usually sitting out there telling children about his own childhood, the history of the Hunkpapa, the stories of his own counting coup, the days before Greasy Grass.  This is how cultural patterns get pressed into the next generation and Hunkesnee took this role very seriously.
So for most of the summer, the rising sun lit up the rear of most of the teepees. In the middle of that rear wall of Hunkesnee’s own teepee, a cluster of symbols were usually the first to be lit by the morning sun. His third wife, Many Horses, one of his two youngest wives, termed “daughter-wives” in the nomenclature of the Hunkpapa, had her symbol drawn at about knee height, a square surrounding a dozen or more little sideways drawn x’s. Directly above that were two other symbols, One looked like a black smudge outlining a white bison.  That was for Tess, “White Buffalo Woman.”  The other symbol portrayed a small rider on a horse leading many small sideways x figures on a line, for her brother, “Courting A Woman.”  These symbols glowed each morning, a start to Hunkesnee’s day there in that place he had otherwise grown to consider Hell on Earth.
That particular summer, their first year at Fort Yates, must have really felt like Hell on Earth. The temperatures weren’t recorded. But several soldiers commented in their letters and journals that year about the dry heat blowing up out of the southwest.
Tess Gannister would tell her sons about one particular afternoon, when Ptesan-Wi ran into the encampment crying.  She’d been stung a dozen or so times. Hornets, she thought. But she would have been a tiny thing, six or seven years old, wearing nothing but a little corset of deerskin tied at the waist. So hornets could get into her tender most parts. With welts forming on her face, neck, arms legs, feet, the child would have been in agony. The swelling and burning, and probable screams of pain, came quickly to the attention of Hunkesnee who grabbed the girl up and ran with her over toward the river bank. He knew about a clay deposit there and daubed all of her stings while he taught Ptesan-Wi, and about a dozen of her extended family siblings assembled around them, a lesson in Hunkpapa Stoicism.
He told them that the sting itself didn’t hurt a bit, showing them a tiny stinger he had pinched out of the little girl’s cheek.  While displaying the almost invisible stinger on his finger and showing it around the circle of children, he said,“It was only the idea of the sting that hurts. The hornet could only use his little tiny spear to give you the idea of pain. But you, Ptesan-Wi, you must make the choice to let that little stinger become a big idea of pain. You could follow the example of the dog. Dog also got stung, didn’t he. But look at Dog now.  Dog says to himself, ‘that’s only Hornet. He makes me itch a little, like mosquito.’ And so Dog itches. You, Ptesan-Wi, you say to yourself that Hornet hurts. So your wounds don’t itch, they burn. But you could do what Dog does and choose to itch and forget the pain.”
Now at the center of attention, Ptesan-Wi seemed to be making a remarkable recovery in front of the other children. The idea of the hornet stings became more like an itch as the old man covered her with clay daubs, singing a song about mosquitoes.  Invariably, now that they had him to themselves, the kids would entreat the older man to tell them stories. His song made them all scratch at imaginary itches now. But he would entertain them with tales of his own childhood, especially the one they called his “counting coup.”
That one they all knew by heart already. It was about that day he had learned his family would be entering war with another group of indians who had stolen some of his tribe’s horses. His people understood that this was a point of pride. The Hunkpapa had stolen those same horses in a fair and square raid on a US Cavalry wagon train. That wagon train had been sent to scout Indian lands for a possible railroad right of way that the United States intended to steal from the Lakota. Now these other scum had the audacity to steal those same horses from the Hunkpapa in a nighttime sneak raid during a sacred ceremony of the Lakota called a sun dance!
The Hunkpapa would not ignore the many layers of insult. First, they decided on an honorable time and place for the retaliatory action. A very young Hunkesnee would overhear the conversation in which his own father and the other Hunkpapa adults decided that noon of the very next day would be both an honorable and appropriate time to strike. Then a strategy was also determined. They would ride slowly into the enemy camp from four directions. Four columns of single file assaults, each attack of four men spaced a couple minutes apart. The first four would attack and only when engaged would they make the Hunkpapa war cry.  The enemy would split its force to handle the first four attackers. Upon hearing the war cry, the next four would attack in the spaces opened up by the first four. A couple minutes later four more would attack the spaces opened up. At some point attackers would make it all the way to the stolen horses, which would be released and driven back to Hunkpapa stables. The tactics were the easy part. The real discussion became order of precedence. Which particular Hunkpapa deserved to be in the honorable first attacks and which must serve their time to attain these honors in some future engagement. Which of the teenagers would be relegated to the humiliating duty of herding the running horses back into Hunkpapa stables. This part of the discussion took the rest of the night, as Hunkesnee would remember it. He was maybe eleven or twelve years old. A role for him had not even been considered.
But as he sat there telling it, Hunkesnee was the most important and famous of the Hunkpapa. His face had seen the depravity of countless wars, winters, starvation, thirst, epidemics. A participant in countless conflicts, both with other native people as well as Federal Cavalry forces armed with sharps rifles,artillery, gatling guns, rail mobility and unlimited reinforcement potential from who knows where out east they all come from, and he was a leader responsible for the wellbeing of the rest,  Hunkesnee never smiled, except sometimes his children and grandchildren thought they could detect a softening around the eyes, Tess Gannister would tell her sons, Simon and Henry, many years later. Hunkesnee was a hard man.
So when he told his story of his own youthful “counting coup” he had their full attention. Hunkesnee had to get across the importance of the tradition so as to distinguish it from simple troublemaking or childish mischief. To count coup, a young man must face grave danger, exhibit personal courage and comport himself with honor befitting the stories that would be told and comparisons that would be drawn among men. Similar in ways to the medals given to contemporary soldiers for bravery under fire, the tokens of counting coup must be granted by the elders for courageous actions of the young. They would wear these tokens for the rest of their lives and the related stories would become the lore of their clans and nations.
Hunkesnee explained to the children that he had overheard his own father claim the honor of leading the first charge of the midday attack, back when Hunkesnee still went by his childhood name, “Jumping Badger.” The next morning, one hour before the planned attack, an eleven year old boy simply walked right into the enemy camp, unchallenged. As he slowly sauntered toward the stable yard where the stolen horses were being kept, he noticed a group of men in full war paint sitting in a circle near the horses. Hunkesnee recalled that his knees felt like they were not working that day so he was a little unsure about bending them. His throat and mouth were also so dry that he could not have spoken if he had been discovered. So he walked very slowly. But, the Grandfather Spirit protected him and no one even noticed him until he had walked right into the circle of men, the enemy council of war.
Hunkesnee tells his own children that Jumping Badger had no fear, just weak knees and a dry mouth. Fear was an idea like pain was an idea. A dry mouth was not an idea, it was a dry mouth.  He recalls that as little Jumping Badger walked into the circle of men, all seated while listening to their war chief, some of the men there barked at him to leave the circle, to join the other children. He tried to swallow but couldn’t. Then he slowly, too slowly really, walked right up to the great war chief, the leader of his enemy. The war leader stopped his talk, hands still extended to each side as he made a point about the weather. Then he exhibited his annoyance at this youngster.
“Whose is this little calf?” He boomed. Some of the younger men moved to their feet. Jumping Badger realized he had only a second. He reached out his bare and open left hand and placed it right on the painted chest of the war chief who looked at the child, really, for the first time. Hidden in the right hand was a small knife. Jumping badger shoved this small blade to its hilt, directly into the belly of the great war chief. Then Jumping Badger dashed into the cluster of teepees and noise and people that represented his enemy’s war camp. He kept running, paying more attention to what pursued him from behind than where he was headed; until he ran into the open arms of his own father. The attack was already underway.
Later, Jumping Badger would learn that his trek toward the enemy camp had not gone unnoticed, although he had told no one of his intentions. The men of his village had almost caught up with him, just as they watched the youngster walk slowly into the enemy camp. Attributed to the confusion surrounding the gravely injured war chief, the enemy did not respond to the almost instantaneous attack. Even the four men of the shock force, the first wave of the planned attack, made it into the village before the cluster of fighters around the war chief were even aware that the perimeter was being pierced.
Two days later, the Hunkpapa war party held a special dance for Jumping Badger.  His father stood proudly as younger men of the village acted out the story of Jumping Badger’s slow walk right up to the enemy war chief. The slowness of that walk became the enduring theme of the story as it would be told over the years. And for his token of counting coup, the elders gave Jumping Badger a single feather, half black and half white, which he would wear on any ceremonial occasion from that day forward.
Ptesan-Wi already knew this story. All of the children of the village had heard it many times. But this time, she remembered that her grandfather hoisted her up and carried her back to the circle of teepees. Along the way he asked her if the little mosquito bites itched. Then his eyes softened.
This is the mental image that Great Grandmother Tess wanted her sons to remember: that moment when, surrounded by a dozen children, Hunkesnee emerges back into the center of his encampment. He walks around his own teepee, still carrying Ptesan-Wi, and walks right into the center of several gruff US Army soldiers. Two sons-in-law are standing up to the armed soldiers and one of the soldiers had his big red hand tightly around the upper arm of Hunkesnee’s son and Ptesan-Wi’s older teepee brother, Courting a Woman.
Courting a Woman stands with his chin out, his eyes focused on nothing at all. Ptesan-Wi squirms in her Grandfather’s arms. He puts her down but keeps his hand firmly on her shoulder. After Ptesan-Wi finally makes eye contact with her brother he holds her gaze. She detects a hint of pride in his expression, yet in no ways might there be a smile there.
Hunkesnee speaks the language of the US Soldiers pretty well. So after a few minutes of loud voices, during which time the big soldier shakes her brother’s arm several times, Hunkesnee finally allows his granddaughter to wriggle out from under his hand. She slips away to her mother’s teepee and watches from just inside the flap. Hunkesnee and most of the soldiers sit down on the ground in a circle. Courting a Woman is held to the center of the circle by the big soldier. The older soldier, the one with the strange hat and the stripes down his pants legs, screams at Hunkesnee who sits through the storm without a flinch or any response at all.
Once the old soldier stopped screaming, Hunkesnee stood. Looking toward his son, he boomed, “Now I have several questions of this child.” He glowered as he slowly, ever so slowly, walks over to Courting a Woman and in their Lakota battle language asks the boy if he has been mistreated by these blue devils who can not even talk to each other anymore because it is their way to avoid telling anything like the truth to anyone. Hunkesnee wonders out loud how white dogs find their way back east because they are so used to telling each other false explanations that their horses don’t even trust them. No one smiled as Hunkesnee’s voice lowered into a more threatening tone. He explained that the white man has to lie to each other because their language was learned from the coyote, the grandfather of their race. That’s why, he explained, their breath smells like the inside of a dead coyote.
With that Hunkesnee walked over and grabbed roughly the arm of his son, jerking it out of the hand of the big red soldier. With a dramatic spin, Hunkesnee swung the boy into the flap of his own teepee, a great honor for a ten year old who had never been invited in there before. Shaking his head, and looking back to the older soldier, Hunkesnee continued to feign anger and shifted back into English when he asked the soldier for advice in raising sons. The Colonel apparently took the bait and talked in that English language for quite some time. Hunkesnee seemed to listen very carefully to every word.
Directly, the soldiers stood and marched off toward the garrison apparently satisfied that Courting a Woman would be punished by his father in a manner befitting the crime of assaulting two field grade officers in their own quarters during a time of peace. But they must have been tipped off by a Blackfoot interpreter. Because several days later Hunkesnee and his band of Hunkpapa were told to get ready to transfer to Fort Randall, much farther south on the river. They would go by steamboat.
Four days later the Hunkpapa held a departure dance. The soldiers permitted it after Hunkesnee’s explanation that Lakota could never be enticed by force to leave, without it. Then, because it wasn't one of the most sacred of Lakota ceremonies, nothing like the sun dance,  even the Colonel and the Representative of Indian Affairs had been invited.
As the sun went down the fire became the hub of the ceremony.  The Colonel and the Representative of Indian Affairs sat on each side of Hunkesnee that night. Hunkesnee wore his white leather leggings under a green loincloth. On his chest he wore an elaborate necklace or shield made from the quills of porcupine. From his hair, standing straight from the gather at the back of his head, one straight eagle feather, half white and half black, leaned forward.
Several Blackfoot interpreters stood behind the officials, along with four additional Army officers.  A dozen or more enlisted soldiers, most armed with rifles, stood or squat nearby on their ankles. The drums started and the young Hunkpapa men began to move around the fire. Periodically, there would be screams. Hunkesnee sat with his back straight and his expression somber.   
After ten or so minutes, a young girl and boy, pre-teens really,  walked out to face the bonfire, directly in front of Hunkesnee and the Officials. While the young men continued their dance in a clockwise direction, these children stood and watched several cycles. Then the boy joined the dance and the girl sat down at the edge, sitting directly in front of the officials. With loud drumming a new group joined the fire dance. Dancers dressed with the preserved heads of dogs or coyote, covered with grey capes moved in the opposite direction, obviously disrupting the progress of the dance. The coyote pushed and shoved, some men were thrown toward the fire, others knocked out of the dance altogether. One young man was picked up by two of the coyote and thrown toward Hunkesnee. Neither Hunkesnee nor the little girl in front of him flinched.
The girl stood and walked toward the river. Just outside of the firelight she picked up something that looked like a lunch basket bundled in a piece of dark cloth. She brought this bundle back into the circle and waited for the boy to make his latest circuit.  The boy accepted the bundle and danced two more circuits, shaking the bundle gently as he danced. During these two cycles, all of the dancers who were not in the coyote pack moved outside the fire ring and took a seat.
The boy made a final circuit of the fire ring and then stopped to face Hunkesnee and the officials. He handed the bundle to Hunkesnee who turned toward the Colonel. With his son on one side and his daughter on the other, Hunkesnee began to unwrap the gift.
The colonel began to stand, but he was too slow, stiff from the sitting. He cursed. Out from the bundle flew a swarm of black hornets. They clouded around the officials, Hunkesnee, his children and the Army officers.  Three or four minutes of cursing finally passed. Most of the visiting officials and officers had moved far away from the bundle, which, despite numerous stings to his arms, face, torso and hands, Hunkesnee still held as a gift offering for his neighbors who had now headed back toward the garrison, cursing the whole way.
The ceremony continued. In front of the Hunkpapa, with his eyes and face stung so badly that his features were somewhat distorted, Hunkesnee presented his two children, yes the boy he called Courting a Woman and the girl he called Ptesen-Wi with tokens of their counting coup. Each, even the girl, received a feather cut in the shape of a hornet with the quill of the feather painted red to symbolize wounds and humiliation given to field grade US Army officers, in the form of a basket containing the nest of bald faced hornets and dozens of angry hornets. The Army Officers had been sitting inside their own quarters at a quiet game of poker when the basket fell through the open window into the small room. It landed on their table and caused much pain and burning. .
Great Grandmother Tess Gannister would present that feather as her most precious personal belonging, not to her sons who would only receive from her a mountain of grey limestone in a place called Lorraine Township, Huntingdon County, Pennsylvania, but for safe keeping over the years and years, to be held by sons and given to that spiteful young Granddaughter or great Granddaughter or even great-great Granddaughter in the future, who would one day face down a bear or a coyote or even childhood leukemia, with the wisdom of her people that a stinger can only give you an idea. Its up to you, though, if that idea is pain or just an itch.

Reveille

"Reveille"
A short story from the collection, _THE AGONY HE SAID_
By Joe Petrulionis
All rights to these materials reserved by the author. 



“Nothing I'd ever want to see written down in any published form, Beth, but I think he saved my life. I'd planned my evening out in detail. Cleaned the cabin, parked the car out of the way over at the diner. I had gotten into my swimming trunks, some old cutoff jeans that I fished in. Then I came down here to the edge, on those rocks right over there.”

Beth closed her notebook and was in the process of leaning it against the stone ledge on which she sat. Jonathan Fost continued, “I had a 32 revolver, a pistol you know. I was going to...I was just going to.”
The young woman’s expression stopped the older man’s narration.
“But I didn’t have any ammunition, it turns out. I had never checked it to see if the damn thing was loaded or not. Didn’t feel like getting dressed to go to Williamsburg for bullets so I decided to walk over to Stencils and see if I might borrow some from somebody up there. Just as I got to Canal Street I saw Mick Berger heading my way in that old truck of mine. He pulled into the drive and asked how I was doing. I said something like, ‘well, just found out that my wife died in a car wreck, she was probably distraught over our daughter’s death, or something. Lost my job this morning, too. Think I must be broke and behind in my rent since I don’t even know who to pay the rent to anymore or how much to pay. Spent the day cleaning and don’t have any pipe tobacco or bullets. And I haven’t had anything to drink today. How are you, Mick? You don’t happen to have any spare bullets on you, do you?’”
“‘Get in the truck, Jonathan. I’ll buy you a beer,’ was his answer. Now you gotta realize, Mick offering to buy a beer for you is not something to miss. Apparently it follows the frequency of the Comet Kohoutek. But I got in the truck and he put a beer on his account at Stencil’s for me. I returned the favor for him. And we sat there in silence, listening to the sound of the hiss of the tv set that didn’t appear to be on any particular channel while Stencil hosed down the Men’s room, and mumbled to himself about the Dnieper River or maybe some river that was knee deep.”
“So finally, out of desperation for something to talk about, I asked Mick if he ever had a really bad day. ‘I mean a terrible day, Mick. What was your worst moment ever?’”
“Then he told me. His worst moment in his whole life. It wasn’t anything like the death of a parent. Not the weekend he went missing when he was a kid or even that nobody believed him about it later. It wasn’t one of his perpetual years of unemployment or being broke past the point of even feeling up to what they kept calling the poverty line. Being lonely? Lonely to the point of not even wanting to share his misery with company? Being turned down flat by the only girl he had invited to the high school prom, a girl he realized had not been asked by any other so she sat home and cried on the big night? No, Beth, his worst moment ever was when he had to pay twenty bucks to rent something that he just could have borrowed for free! And hearing about his torment made me forget to borrow any bullets myself. I have his story written down somewhere. Remind me to find it for you sometime.”
-------------------------
Found in the glove compartment of an old car parked in Irvingsberg, PA.
“Mick’s Lowest Point Ever,”
Private Michael Berger, not even PFC anymore but as of yesterday afternoon buck ass Private Berger again, stood at attention in the cool rain of this Fort Stewart Georgia version of mid-January Winter. The company First Sergeant saluted on the entire formation’s behalf in the general direction of the recorded bugle call that finally concluded in a cannon shot somewhere off in the pine treed distance over toward the Divisional Headquarters. You can’t see the flag from here, but everyone present knows it was being hoisted to the sound of the bugle. Most of the enlisted men and women of this mechanized infantry division stand in this cool drizzle, as much a ritual of forced obedience as it symbolizes their loyalty to a Nation. Their chain of command, a puppet string that begins with the President of the United States and worms its long way down through the ranks to the three star General still at home in his living room drinking coffee and reading the Wall Street Journal, down through a Battalion Commander who wants to be a General so badly that he has probably been snooping around the motor pool for an hour already, looking for any signs of sloppy maintenance, down to the Company Commander sitting at his desk surrounded by four platoon leading Lieutenants, one of whom was responsible for first platoon. But Private Berger never really knew which Lieutenant he belonged to. He just saluted all officers and did whatever he was told to do by his own Sergeants. The whole thing worked better that way, he had learned.
This wasn’t the beginning of his morning, no not even. “Technically” he would have said, his day had already commenced two hours earlier, when Berger had been harassed out of the bunk by his squad sergeant yelling for the two dozen men in this barracks to “get the hell up for PT before I piss all over any shithead I find still in that bunk!”The son of a bitch would do it, too. Shuddering at the smells emerging from all over the barracks, Berger also shook out his sweat suit, safety yellow just like the identical PT suits all of the other men in his squad also kept rolled in their ponchos. He zipped on the jacket, still damp and smelling something like road kill marinated in old urine. An unspoken conspiracy among the men of Bravo squad, and perhaps the whole damned Army, an act of rebellion really: none of them had laundered these sweats since the Supply Sergeant issued them more than a year ago, despite the fact these PT uniforms were worn five mornings each week. Aside from Physical Training, this is what you wore when you put your fatigues through an abbreviated wash cycle every two weeks. You never washed the sweats. Now, the air in the barracks could bring tears.
PT commenced with a round of push-ups, sit-ups, squat thrusts, and on a good day, a two mile run around the parade field. Today was not a good day, nor was it a bad day. Just another day, so they ran four miles in step through the rain, repeating songs one line at a time in a call and response routine that was intended to keep the troops together, motivated, and distracted from the distance of the run and the proximity of the men wearing the unwashed,drenched,and crusty, sweatsuits:
Born in the back woods, nursed by a she bear
I can bend steel bars, I got me three coats of hair.
Some farmers found me and moved me to the city,
My case worker said it was a real pity.
To the school psychologist I was led
I shuffled in his office sprang to attention and said
“Sir I wanna be an Airborne Ranger. I wanna go to Vietnam”
“I wanna live a life of danger. Dont want to marry no soccer mom.”
Well they cut my hair and shaved my beard.
Made me look pretty goddammed weird.
Took away my old switch blade.
Got a M-16 and a hand grenade
MRE’s for dinner time and my trusty night watchman a claymore mine.
They could go on and on for miles at that pace. You wouldn’t think of dropping out of the run, it would cost you extra sessions of remedial PT, every evening for the next week. You would never drop out again. So hangover or not, diuretic or throwing up, you just ignored the smell, settled into the pace, sang your response and counted down the days till your ETS, a term that most one termers thought meant “Escape This Shit.”
But Private Berger still had a year to go. He had signed for four years, not even counting down the days yet. After the run, he rolled his wet sweats back into the poncho, the smelly bundle held together with a large rubber-band, and stuck the whole smelly thing into the top of his laundry bag tied to one end of his bunk. Then he selected the driest of two towels hanging inside his locker and stood in line for a quick shower, six showerheads but used by twelve men at a time while another dozen waited in the hall. There were no private moments in the Army. He shaved at a row of sinks along one wall while men sat at open toilets along the back wall. Crude jokes passed between them, “What the Hell, Rinfroe? Are you on a cheese and sauerkraut diet again? The vinyl tiles around your feet are blistering.”
Then Berger threw on his olive drab uniform before cleaning the latrine and mopping the concrete floor on the way out of his barracks. He just made it into place at the far left of his squad’s line at oh- eight- hundred, just in time for the command to “attention.” “All Present.” The First Sergeant did a sharp about face, saluted the pine trees and they waited a long half minute for the bugle music. So far, just a normal day in the Army.
The cannon fired, the First Sergeant turned and questioned the status of all deadlined vehicles. Sergeants confirmed or corrected him with new information. Referring to the Preventative Maintenance Control Forms that were more important than any actual service conducted, he said, “I want a fresh PMCS of everything in the motorpool on my desk by sixteen hundred. Sergeant Marcus, bring Private Berger and all of his little green buddies to the orderly room by oh nine-hundred and bring all of his shit from the barracks with him. I predict he is going to be abducted again so if he owes any of you money you better collect it right after formation. Dismissed.”
That was how Private Berger found out.
Immediately, all the squad leaders commanded their men and a few women, to attention, taking charge of the small units for the next day of Army life: police calls, equipment upkeep, preventative maintenance of military vehicles, various forms of training, and most important, the never ending battle between lower ranking enlisted personnel and boot marks on tile floors. But Sergeant Marcus and Private Berger together took an inventory of everything that he had been issued by the Army, placing everything else in a paper grocery bag. Wearing his utility uniform, field jacket, soft cap, and boots, Berger carried the paper bag to the orderly room where waited two MP’s for his final ride off of the base. The First Sergeant gave him an envelope containing some folded travel orders and bus tickets. “Don’t lose these, dipshit, it’s a long walk home unless you can catch a ride with some friendly aliens,” he said without even looking up from the paperwork. “Now get the hell off my base.”
The MPs dropped him off at the Hinesville Greyhound Bus Terminal four hours early for his brutal reentry to civilian life which would begin with a road trip represented by that packet of tickets in his pocket. Someone had written the purpose of each ticket across the back of the cards: Atlanta, Baltimore, Harrisburg, Pittsburgh, Altoona, Tyrone. Inside his paper bag, Berger had a dopp kit with soap, a razor, toothbrush still in the plastic packaging, and a comb. The bag also contained a towel a washcloth and an envelope containing his separation paperwork, a D.D. 214 form with the “Less Than Honorable Discharge” block checked and no additional explanation offered. Any reader might be led to wonder if he exhibited moral turpitude, disciplinary incidents, corruptions, substance abuse, physical or emotional instability. It might have been for any of many reasons, really. But Berger realized his infraction was more serious than any of these. Mick was indeed guilty; he had let slip a small glimmer of the Truth.
As the late bus to Atlanta pulled out of the Hinesville terminal, the road appeared to be built on mud scraped from the lowlands on each side, as far into the swampy distance as Mick Berger could see. Just past the town limits the bus passed a small hand-lettered sign beside a mailbox mounted to a rusting piece of exhaust pipe next to a lane made of oyster shells, “MEXICAN JUMPING BEANS.” Nothing else on the sign, just the three words. Mick wondered if the words “for sale” were implied. Or was this a sign with some deeper meaning? He let his mind wander: If potential buyers of said jumping beans ever ventured down that unwelcoming little road to inquire about pricing and availability, did they offer any kind of quantity discounts and guarantees, and how the hell did the beans get all the way here from Mexico. Then he imagined the enterprise down there handing out glossy sales brochures, hinting at their extensive catalog of bean variants, optional equipment, and the accessory items that a fashionable young tourist to Hinesville, Georgia might purchase on an impulse. Imagining even the radio ad, “Serving the Mexican Jumping Bean needs of Liberty County for over two decades.”
Mick ran out of things to even think about the sign. “You’d have to see it yourself to ever believe it,” he muttered aloud. Then he took a quick survey of his own financial situation. Tomorrow was payday in the Army. He hadn’t been advanced anything but the bus ticket to ease his way back to Irvingsberg. An inventory of his wallet yielded four one-dollar bills. Thirty-two cents in one pocket and the rubberband from his poncho/sweatsuit roll in the other. He recalled the train he had taken to Fort Dix, New Jersey on an afternoon three years ago. At the time, that’d been the farthest he’d ever been from home while awake, he thought. Back then he had almost fifteen dollars in his pocket.
So from Mick Berger’s initial way of calculating things, this Army experience had cost him a little over ten dollars. Allowing that they had paid him along the way and fed him every day, till now, plus I sent home most of my pay anyways. So, all in bottom line, he could consider he was ahead. Mighta been worse, he thought then went to sleep. The worst moment of Mick Berger’s life was still to come.
Early in the morning, as they pulled into Atlanta, Georgia, he had to change busses. There was some kind of emergency and nobody was sure if the bus to Charlotte, North Carolina was ever going to make its departure. While attempting to purchase one cigarette from a driver on break, Mick asked the nature of the emergency. By way of answer, the kindly driver simply threw a quarter of a pack of menthols at him, saying “keep em.” Then Mr Greyhound nodded toward the street, but Mick did not immediately see that there accumulated almost an inch of snow, a half inch more than was needed down here to shut the school system and immobilize all traffic in the, so called, greater Atlanta Metropolitan Area.
The bus to Charlotte left around noon, finally. Early the next morning a similar bus stopped in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. The snow was a foot deep, but they released the bus to Pittsburgh. In Pittsburgh, the snow was eighteen inches and still falling, but few in Pittsburgh seemed to notice. The eleven a.m. bus to Altoona left right on time.
In the mid-afternoon snowstorm, Altoona Pennsylvania looked to Mick Berger like the nice sized town he remembered from his boyhood. Back then they didn’t get into town much, just a rare shopping trip or his Father’s medical appointments or something like that. But at least Altoona was familiar ground, even if he didn’t know anyone who lived there. Mick now had a decision to make, a decision into which he invested his last menthol cigarette and a cup of machine coffee from the terminal. It cost him fifty cents. He was down to no cigarettes now and one dollar bill and some pennies, having lived on three candy bars and water fountain visits for the past three nights and two days’ homeward quest. As he smoked he wondered why anyone who liked tobacco at all would purposely buy cigarettes flavored with eucalyptus. But he smoked it.
Mick might make a phone call. But who could he call? Who was going to drive into Altoona for him in eighteen inches of new snow just to bring his sorry ass back out to Irvingsberg? He would not ask his Mother to do that, even if the car was in any condition to run, Mick was certain it had not even been started during the past three years. No way he could afford a taxi from Altoona to take him out there.But there was no possibility of affording a taxi from Tyrone either. Mick had one more ticket and ten minutes to make up his mind. Did he intend to walk home from Altoona or would he use the last ticket to take the bus to Tyrone and walk home from there? It figures, the damn Army had not even considered the last twenty miles of the trip. Either way it was going to be a twenty mile walk at night in the butt deep snow, over mountains and along rivers. And he was now completely out of cigarettes. But the bus station would not refund a government ticket for cash and Mick Berger was not going to waste the ticket. So he decided to take the Tyrone leg of his trip and, after that, to play it by ear.
But the snow was coming down pretty hard. As he stamped out his cigarette and stepped up into the bus, Mick noticed a snow shovel leaning against the garage door in a nearby alley. The driver said, “Twenty Inches and building. We’re going to sit right here and wait for them to get out the plows first. Make yourself comfortable if you like. Might be a few hours.”
That was when Mick realized he was the only passenger. Sitting in the first row, over next to the right hand window, Mick explained his predicament to the driver. The Army had given him tickets enough to take a bus to Tyrone. But he lived in Irvingsberg, a little village near Williamsburg. “Would there be any way,” he asked, for the driver, “to take the back road from here to Tyrone and drop him off along the William Penn Highway. It’ud save me an all night walk through the snow and probably be about ten extra minutes for the bus. We’re off schedule anyway and I appear to be the only passenger.”
“Son, they track my gas mileage. That ten minutes might seem like nothing to you. But every year those of us with good gas mileage and schedule accuracy make a little Christmas bonus. How’m I sposed to explain a small bonus to the missus? That might cost me fifteen bucks.” But the driver was not done talking. He looked significantly at Mick through the mirror, as if that had been a real question and not just some hypothetical.
It was not easy for Mick who was just not used to the ethos of the capitalist world yet. But he was learning fast, “So a big tipper could maybe get the bus to go another route? And there’s no regulation against stopping the bus if the driver thinks he sees a deer on the road. Right?”
“Son, there is no way I would run over a deer in the road. Specially out there on 22 with a big tipper passenger who needed to get out there at the Williamsburg cutoff, where's that, 866?”
Neither one smiled. Mick just said he’d be back and the driver opened the door for the young man with his paper bag.
------------------------------
So much depended
on a red handled shovel
Leaning against the garage
in the white snow,
With the gum banded acknowledgment
of guilt and desperation
-------------------------------
Mick had knocked. He probably knocked several times, walked around both the garage and the house and knocked again, too. But nobody was home or at least no one had answered the knock by a haggard and strange looking man in a military uniform. So Mick used the shovel to clear the porches, stairs, and the sidewalks of the house. He shoveled the entire front curb in case the owner of the home wanted to park their several cars out there. Then he shoveled the drive to the garage.
Then he knocked again.
Still no answer.
So he shoveled the entire sidewalk around that entire block before he made a pass through the alley. He knocked again. No answer.
Then Mick crossed the street and began to shovel the sidewalk around that block as well. A neighbor woman came to the front door and thanked him. He asked if she wanted her walk and steps cleared and she did. She offered him a cup of hot chocolate and two dollars. After shoveling another neighbor’s porch steps, a middle aged man in a sport coat there told him to get lost.
Mick shoveled the sidewalks, several of the alleyways, many porches, stairs and driveways in the neighborhoods around downtown Altoona that afternoon. Most people did not even come to the door to thank him, so he kept moving. He knocked on the door of the house where he had borrowed the shovel at least three more times during the day. No one ever answered. But before sundown, Mick Berger had accumulated $42 in hard earned tips, including a $20 bill given him by a grateful manager of a department store where curbside snow removal had to be done carefully and by ungloved hand, scraping snow from between customer cars as they came and went.
As the uniformed man replaced the snow shovel against the garage door, now with a twenty dollar rent payment rubber banded to the handle, he realized that he had given much more than he had taken that day. Forty minutes later, he handed “Mr Greyhound” an eighteen dollar tip to stop at a deer crossing up in Lorraine Township called “Canal Street.”





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Talon's, a bar known as "Stencil's" by locals.  This is what it looked like a decade after having been closed for failure to pay its taxes. The painted front window and old entry door had been taken down, sold and replaced, as can be seen here, with some siding and a few new windows. 


As Mick entered the Irvingsberg bar which had always been called “Stencils,” few if any of the six customers there could even recall the young man who had been, when they would have last seen him, a high school student. That had been three long years ago. But when he caught the eye of the the proprietor of the place, a man wearing only a thin tank top undershirt over his paint stained work pants, there was a flicker of recognition, then a two eye wink. Mick ordered “a dollar bowl of chili and two one dollar beers, please.”
“Is special tonight for militarys. Goulash chili and cracker all can eat free with Miller Beer fifty cent.”
Did Stencil lose money on that transaction or not? This would be a complex calculation. From that day until he left Irvingsberg for good, Stencil never touched another snow shovel.